


In Which Loki Is Pleased To Discover He Is Average

by DomesticatedChaos



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Loki wants the d, M/M, Penis Size, Pseudo-Incest, Ridiculous, Sibling Incest, Size Queen Loki, Thor's massive cock, lots of talk about penises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-24 00:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4899091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DomesticatedChaos/pseuds/DomesticatedChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki has always compared himself to his brother (in more ways than one). However, a trip to Midgard reveals that some assumptions he made about his… inadequacy were probably misinformed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Loki Is Pleased To Discover He Is Average

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lokincest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokincest/gifts).



> So Lokincest was on twitter talking about Loki's little gherkin pickle sized penis and I was like, "okay no wait what if he only THINKS he's small because Thor is so massive?" and something something possum happened and here's this fic.
> 
> Blame Lokincest. It's all her fault.

The first time Loki saw Thor’s cock was when they were children. Granted, as children, looking at him was more a curious comparison than anything more obscene. At that time, all Loki had noticed was that Thor was longer. In the broad sense, Thor was longer all over: taller, wider in shoulders already, larger hands and feet, and yes, larger cock.

It wasn’t until they were older, almost fully grown adults that Loki fully… appreciated Thor’s size. True, there was a heavy dose of actual appreciating whenever Loki spied a glimpse of Thor’s huge penis, but mostly it just made Loki feel inadequate. Everyone knew that a man’s penis was a reflection of his strength and worth. And Loki’s was practically miniscule.

That didn’t stop him from visualizing what it would be like to be impaled on that monster length. Or, when fully grown, spend hours with various toys of a similar size testing his ability to accommodate such.

But now here he was, on Midgard with his brother—albeit unseen by everyone else in the room—and utterly gaping at what he was seeing. And more importantly, hearing. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Thor, what is in there? A fucking possum?” Barton’s voice was reaching a nearly shrill pitch.

Stark had managed to talk everyone into joining him at the pool for something he called ‘team bonding time.’ Mostly, it seemed to Loki like an excuse to wear little-to-no clothing and lounge about in the water all day. This appealed to Loki’s sense of mischief, not to mention his voyeurism.

But as soon as Thor stepped out of the elevator sporting a Midgardian style swimsuit—flimsy shorts that barely came to his upper thigh, hugging him obscenely and leaving very little to the imagination—the noise in the room dropped to an awed and terrified silence. From his vantage point on the bench with the towels, Loki had a clear view of everyone’s line of sight, which was currently pinned on Thor’s _other_ hammer. 

“Are you—is there… Do you have some sort of medical condition we should be aware of?” Banner asked, oddly delicate in his shock and disbelief.

Romanoff muttered under her breath, “Like priapism?”

Thor looked down at his crotch. “I look as I always do.”

Loki was shocked himself, although for wholly different reasons. The other men present all had distinctive bulges more to the size of Loki’s own. Thor well and truly was the ‘odd man out’ as they say on Midgard. Even Rogers sported a package the same as Loki’s, and he was very truly near the Asgardian ideal in every other way.

Thinking back to all the Asgardian and Vanir maidens (and quite a few men) Loki had slept with, he remembered several pleasant words about his size and prowess in bed. At the time he thought they were being kind to spare his feelings, but now…

He remembered quite distinctly a few of them muttering something how he was a size that was “actually fucking useful.” 

“No offense, Thor,” Barton said, “but how big are you? Because damn.”

Thor gave an embarrassed shrug of his shoulders and indicated a length from his fist to halfway up his forearm. There was a collective exhalation of breath tinged with dread.

“How does it even fit?” Romanoff asked, probably more to herself than the rest of the room, but Loki heard her question just fine from his seat several feet away from her.

Stark’s statement, quick on the heels of Romanoff’s, was also easy for him to hear. “Challenge accepted.” Rogers smacked Stark on his arm for that.

This, too, put some of what those maids and young men said into perspective. Loki grinned.

And Thor, much to Loki’s delight, was actually blushing. “I haven’t. I mean, it’s just.” He stammered and looked red in the face and _Loki was just_ filled _with mirth._ “Although I’ve tried, most people aren’t, um.” He hung his head. “I just haven’t met the right, uh, person yet, I suppose,” Thor muttered finally, looking very embarrassed. 

Not to mention humiliated.

And while Loki was somewhat gleeful at the thought of a humiliated ( _and apparently virgin)_ Thor, he found he didn’t much like the idea when the cause of said humiliation came at the hands of someone other than Loki himself.

That didn’t sit right with him at all.

He decided to distract the so-called Avengers by pushing Banner into the pool and setting Barton up for the blame. Then he left his brother and his friends to their team bonding to prepare himself in Thor’s quarters. Loki wouldn’t go so far as to call himself the “right” person for Thor, but he knew _he_ was not daunted by Thor’s monstrous size.

And well, frankly, Loki thought it quite a pity that Thor had never been able to put his cock in someone. That was something Loki was fairly certain he could help with.

Challenge accepted, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> if i haven't lost you by now...
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://domesticated-chaos.tumblr.com) and [Twitter!](http://www.twitter.com/ErisOReilly) :D


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